As the holiday season approaches, many of us look forward to gatherings with family and friends. Yet, we understand that some in our community might feel anxious about encountering uncomfortable questions from loved ones. Questions like, “When are you planning to have a baby?” or “Are you planning to add more children to your family?” can be particularly challenging. Even if you already have a child, you might hear, “Are you going to try for a girl/boy?” These questions, though common in some cultures, can be difficult to face.
The good news is that there are simple tools you can implement to help you manage and navigate these situations. With these strategies, you can still enjoy and create cherished memories with your loved ones.
As we state in our Finding You InFertility workbook, a step-by-step wellness workbook for family building through IUI and IVF, on page 30, we facilitate the exercise: ‘What Can YOU Control?’ ‘An Emotional Tool to Soften Your Journey’. This exercise helps you focus your attention on the things you have control over, such as exercise, eating, and rituals. This is a great way to preserve your emotional energy and lessen the anxiety that focusing on things you are powerless to control generates, such as unwanted questions during social gatherings.
Follow these steps to learn an ‘Emotional Tool to Soften Your Journey’:
- Make two lists:
List one: Things that concern/worry you
List two: Things that are important to you
- Categorize the items from those lists into two circles:
Circle one: Things I Cannot Control
Circle two: Things I Can Control - Develop a plan on how you will act on the things you can control.
- Finally, focus your attention and energy on the items in your inner circle.
We hope that you enjoy this holiday season and that this exercise benefits you in the days ahead. For more wellness exercises that can help you throughout your journey, visit lulu.com and search for the book: Finding You InFertility, written by Francisco Arredondo, MD, MPH, and Maria Eugenia Quevedo LPC, LMFT, RPT.
Remember, your Pozitivf Fertility community is here to support you. If you have any advice or helpful tools for others in your fertility community, please feel free to send them to us by emailing dany@pozitivf.com
Together, let’s make a strong Pozitivf community that supports one another with love, grit and hope.
Thank you. 
